Sunday, June 17, 2012

first sem.

"Class of 2012, it's 2012."

HAHAHA BAM thought I'd start with that. I thought I'd do an "end of semester" kind of thing to commemorate (hahaha is this word appropriate) the first six months of the year that have just like FLOWN by.

In general, for the first like 3 months or so, I think I kinda dug a really deep hole for myself. I vaguely remember (even though it wasn't thaaat long ago) the first two months being utter rubbish for me because I just was really kind of gloomy and mopey and my opinion of life in general wasn't all too good. Sinking sinking sinking.
The good part is that it got better after time, and things started straightening out, structure settled and everything kind of, one way or another, fell into place and right now its not all as bad as things seemed a few months ago. Not to say that everything has been going super well, it hasn't, truthfully, but its much better than I thought it would be.
(this is harder than I thought it was going to be HAHA)

2. Super thankful for the people that held my hand throughout the last six months :)
Really thankful, like seriously.
So glad things worked out eventually, and I'm so thankful because you're always there to listen to me (unjudgingly! ok there's no such word but you get what I mean) and you're super supportive and always there to bring me uuuppppp :)))) Thank you so much because it means so so much ♡
Grateful for Jess too (I KNOW YOU ARE READING THIS HAHA) Thank you for bothering to whatsapp me and locking my twitter and making sure I study and for all the assurances and for the hugs every Saturday. really thankful for you my dear hamster ♡
Love all my church friends who make my day all the time and I look forward to every Saturday :)))) for everything guyssss ♡
Can't believe I gotta leave my MG friends after this year, THANK YOU GUYS REALLY y'all make school super fun and bearable. Recess crew  Reenah Jiayi Megs Stace Huilin talking about lots of things , closest bunch :) And going crazy in class with Megs & Jiayi doing really weird things like drawing all over our Chinese papers and laughing at the weirdest things and sitting right behind in the Chapel heh. And for the SLs who are a suuuuuper amazing bunch and they are super super super wonderful to be around because they just bring so much joy :) And class friends, Keren & Char who are super adorable, Kris for sitting beside me during class and going all COMMON SENSE on me. Cris for making me laugh so hard during chinese + talk about weird things. Elizebra who is a zebra and a lazy pok but my history buddy all the same :) GRACE my stay back in school buddy (: Thanks for all the weird things we do together like camp outside the staffroom and idk walk around and have mimetalks with your mac LOL. Thanks for your company and its been fun going back to school during the hols to 'do work' AHAHAH. ♡ ♡ ♡

I love them, because I REALLY couldn't ask for a better group to be an SF to. They really do put their hearts into everything they do and they're so cute and so fun to talk to. Love sitting in for their meetings and be all amazed by how organized they are, and talking to them after that :) So so so proud because they're the group with the largest number of people making it as SLs, and even the ones that didn't make it through, I know they're still amazing at what they do :) Can't believe they're going to do LTC on Monday (TOMORROW) and be SFs themselves. Thanks guys for bringing so much joy into my days heehee, y'all are an amazing bunch and y'all did soooo well for your fundraiser, BEST GROUP EVER ♡

has been crazy and will only get crazier. Studying for mid years was like wowwwww amazingly long and tiring and the actual mid year period was long and tiring as well HAHHAA. BUT WHAT TO DO its sec 4, I guessssss. OH WELL I GUESS ITS ALL FOR Os.

5. God.
Sec 4 has really taught me to like put my trust in God and have faith that He will come through for me in the end. I wanted to give up (or rather, give in.) so many times but HE IS MORE THAN ENOUGH :) I've learn to ask God for like super super super a lot of joy in whatever I'm doing or whatever I'm facing, and for His strength as well and it really helped la :) Though whenever I get overly upset I forget about all these things but I guess that's something I have to work on right? Gotta do my best to live my life for Him :)

BANDage seemed like so long ago. But it really wasn't, it was about 3 months ago? Hmm. I'll miss staying back in school till super super late to do auditions/tech runs/full dress rehearsals and rocking out in the PA booth HAHAHA. It was so much work but so much fun. For the past few years CIP was just like oh ok its going to be for the good of others but for Bandage, because we went for the St Luke's visit, we could really truly understand what and who we're doing this for, ultimately, and it was just so amazing when we found out we raised like 80k +++ :')
Even though the whole project had its flaws, like we felt a bit lost in the planning process, but it all worked out in the end and everyone, especially the ICs and the teachers put in so much effort into this it was so heartening. RHYTHM OF LOVE, BEAT OF RECOVERY :)))) ♡

So many things have happened in the past 6 months, some unmentionable HAHAHA (nothing horrible or anything) but its crazzzzyyyyy somehow I think the past 6 months have forced me to grow up a little and (as Mrs Ng would say) just SUCK IT IN, whatever may come. This year, being the year of many lasts, is probably going to end faster than ever expected. The next semester will probably just fly past us and we'll graduate and stuff but for now let's just take it slow and make the most of it :)
I'm sorry if this was incoherent. I couldn't materialize my thoughts into words properly in some cases and its just a little messy :( Hmmm. But okay that was semester 1 for you.

Still don't want to go back to school though. Unsettled things.