Sunday, January 8, 2012

rollercoaster

Hello,

I am here to rant uncontrollably so please bear with this post. Firstly, tomorrow we are getting back our Chinese O level results. Keeping my horrible (this is not an understatement) Chinese in mind, I should be over the moon if I manage to get an A2, let alone an A1. I hope to at least get a distinction, maybe an A1 (this ties in with my dream of getting 9A1s and 1B4.) I just do not wish to repeat normal chinese and retake normal Chinese Os this year - who knows how long it'll take me to get over the fact that my 2 points off is gone. HAHA. Anyway, I'm not feeling afraid or anything. I think its because I know I studied hard for it. But who knows how I'll fare, except God?

History retest on Tuesday & SS retest on Wednesday. I'm done with my notes + revising for the first time for Korean + Cuban, I just need to go over my notes again tomorrow and i should be set, since its SBQ, it will not be taxing on my memory. However, I cannot bring myself to study SS at all. I just don't like it hahaa. But hopefully Ms Koh will interest me in SS this year. The Sec 4 topics appear more appealing than our Sec 3 ones, just saying.

Woke up today feeling quite bleah, but I'm thankful for Jess's whatsapps (': Exhausted from school, but aiya whattodo. Can't help but feel that I've just committed myself to too much. The Bandage responsibilities have yet to roll in, other Swho knows what a Chef de mission does for Olympics (btw, 4I'12 NORTH KOREA REPRESENT), running the EE booth w a few others on Friday night, being in my CCA comm (reluctantly, I might add) with CCA orientation coming up and Ms Kek listing out what we have to help the newcomers with, teach them stuff like P/A and photoshop etc, volunteering to lead chapel worship in March and also my responsibilities as a student - my compulsory retests begin next week & all the homework that has been coming in. (typing all this out has made me kanchiong HAHA) Thank God I dropped my class chair position - it was fun but I would be dying. It has been a hellofa first week, staying back every single day.

I don't know how I survived the first week really, and partially why I took up all these roles is to fill my time, to make myself so busy I don't dwell on anything else. Here's to the second week of school, I hope I don't die. I miss 2011 mainly because I knew that no matter how sucky my day may have been, when I got home and shared about my day & woes & joys I would always be happy and I never felt alone. But aiyah. Idk if the past is going to remain the past. We shall see? Crazy week. I sincerely hope the next will be better because I spent a few days moping + hating everything lmao.

"When we are controlled by our fears, we are indeed a danger to ourselves." 

Reenah's belated birthday present from all of us.


a. campfire b. Tessa & I. From when we crashed campfire night during OC. 

xxxx